Emilee

Emilee Amber Bryson

Emilee made her first appearance into the world exactly 1 month ago today! :) (Well, technically yesterday now that it's after midnight. I'm feeding her right now and also getting a head start on our Halloween candy stash (hey, remember, it's technically the 31st right now!) so I'll probably be typing most of this with one hand. Please excuse typos. :)

Emilee's birthday was September 30th at 5:52pm. With her due date being Oct 21st, I really didn't think I'd be having a September baby. But the Grandmas were happy because they both have September birthdays themselves. We went in early on the 29th to be induced because of my low amniotic fluid levels. Not a whole lot happened that day. I laid in bed most of the day hooked up to a couple of monitors and an IV. Overnight and the next day I did start to notice contractions, although they weren't very strong. I still didn't sleep well since I had my eyes on the monitors most of the night, and I still had to pee every couple of hours, and it wasn't my own bed, and a million other reasons.

In the morning my doctor checked me and I was only at "almost 2 cm". It had been about 24 hours since they started the induction. They gave me larger doses of meds and the contractions started to kick in a little. Still, not too bad, but I could definitely feel them and some of them hurt. My doctor told me he'd check in with me later that day. He was hoping to break my water then (that morning), but I hadn't progressed enough. He came back around 4pm later that day. He checked me and I was still at only about 2cm. He told me he would try to break my water anyway. He left for a few minutes, and while he was gone I felt a gush which I thought was my water breaking. I had Ryan peek to see if that's what he thought it was, and he said that he wasn't sure and that it just looked like a lot of blood. I was pretty sure that sometimes blood came out too when your water broke, but it didn't seem normal. We called the nurses and doctor in and they checked it out. It turns out it was not my water breaking. I'm still not sure what that was. They didn't seem to be too concerned. But they did say that if it happened again that they would send me in for a c-section since they weren't sure what it was. Then he broke my water.

At this point I wasn't totally freaking out, but I was a little bit freaked out by the blood. I realized I was worried about the baby, too. I was also EXTREMELY tired at that point. It had been a day and a half, I had barely slept, I was nervous about all sorts of things and worried that the baby was going to be ok. On top of that, the contractions started to kick in pretty hard within minutes of him breaking my water. I started to stress out A LOT and I told Ryan that I didn't think I was going to make it to the end. I was only at 2cm, and that took almost 36 hours! Was I going to be able to do another 12 hours, or even 1 hour? It didn't feel possible. I was wayyy too exhausted. I was also in more pain now AND way more worried, and even if I made it to 10cms, then I'd have to have the energy to PUSH her out. I can't do it. I wanted to get the c-section. But it just sounded scary. It was never something I pictured myself doing. It wasn't because I had anything against c-sections - I just never planned for it. I didn't know if my labor would be 2 hours or 2 days, but I never pictured it being a c-section. I may have ended up getting a c-section anyway though if any little thing went wrong at that point. So was it worth laboring for several more hours just to have the same end result? I wrestled with what I should do. The decision was mine (and Ryan's) to make. I am sooo indecisive. And Ryan isn't much better than I am. We can't even figure out what to eat for dinner most of the time! haha! I didn't want to "give up" or take the easy way out. I realized though, it wasn't going to be much easier. It might be easier beforehand, but the recovery isn't any easier. I had already been through a day and a half of this. It was OK to get a c-section. So, we made the decision to have a c-section. I thought I would be all freaked out, but as soon as we made the decision I was SO happy. I knew she'd be here soon. Safe and in my arms. :)

They prepped me and told me she'd be here in less than 30 mins. Oh my goodness! They gave Ryan clothes to cover up with which included shoe covers. We joked about whether they'd fit him or not and told the nurses they might have to sew two together for each foot (he wears size 15 shoes). I guess they ended up fitting him though.

Our anesthesiologist had a really weird sense of humor. I wasn't sure about him at first, but I ended up liking him (I think). He prepped me and gave me an epidural for the surgery. I could not feel my legs AT ALL, and it kicked in almost instantly. I couldn't feel any pain during the surgery, but I could feel a lot of tugging around. It was the strangest feeling EVER! I was so tired at this point, and I just looked at Ryan with really wide eyes the whole time, thinking "what the HECK is going on?!" They told Ryan he could peek over the curtain to see the surgery if he wanted to. He said "umm, nahhh". Haha!

Pretty soon we heard the sweetest sound in the world - little Emilee's first CRY! We held hands and smiled and kissed and couldn't believe our ears. They told me she had a lot of dark hair. I couldn't wait to meet her. They took her away to clean her up and weigh her. They called Ryan over to hold her. I could hear them all over there, but I couldn't see them. I forgot that the doctors would have to take a few minutes to sew me back up again (duh). They were over there with her for probably only like, 3 minutes but it felt like FOREVER! Then Ryan brought her over to me and put her really close to my face. She was the most precious thing I've ever seen. 6 pounds, 12 oz of pure CUTENESS! Ryan looked so happy and excited. It was awesome.

They brought Ryan into the recovery room while they finished up with me, and he got to spend a good 5 minutes in there all alone with his daughter. He loved it.

They lifted me off the surgery table onto a bed to wheel me into the recovery room. I could see them lifting me and my legs onto the bed, but I almost didn't believe they were my legs! I couldn't feel a thing. It was SO weird. In the recovery room, they let me hold her and right away she started to look for "food". She was the sweetest thing I had ever seen. It was hard for me to hold her since I was so tired, but mainly because I couldn't move most of my body. It just felt awkward to hold her. But I didn't want to let go either. :)

A little while later our family came in to see her. They were talking to me and taking pictures and the nurses were telling me things but I was so tired. I literally could hardly keep my eyes open. I kept closing them and just nodding, pretending like I was hearing what they were saying when I really wasn't. It was crazy. I had never been so tired in my life. But I was so happy. And I definitely wouldn't have made it much longer had we not had the c-section. It was the right decision. And Emilee was there, in my arms, safe & sound. :)

Stuff for a 5 day stay at the hospital, plus gifts for Emilee from all of our visitors!

We needed a cart to wheel it all out of there!

On our way home :)

Our little family of 3. :)