Self-discipline

I have put no "structure" into my life besides my work schedule. I think I wouldn't go so crazy and I wouldn't have such a mess around all the time if I structured my week better. It just needs to be small things. I was thinking of making one night "clean the bathroom" night and a few days a week "do the dang laundry" day. I'd also need a "put away the dang laundry" day, because I'm SO bad about that. I just have a pile for EVER sitting in the laundry basket, in front of the couch, or upstairs on our bedroom floor. If I had a chore system then maybe I wouldn't get behind on stuff. It's just hard to tell what we'll be doing each night (although our weeknights are usually pretty open), or how I will be feeling each day.

I decided to start a not-very-strict diet/exercise plan this past Monday. I can't go crazy or I will not stick with it. Also, with exercise, I just have to do what I can because I get sore and tired from basically NOTHING! So I kind of just have to take baby steps toward better health and hopefully losing some weight. My weight has skyrocketed and I'm sure it's contributed to worsened symptoms and also not so great of a self-image. So I made a calendar for this week and the next 3 weeks of my lunches, Ryan's dinners and my dinners. Some of our dinners are the same but Ryan is really picky so often times if I want to eat healthy I have to make two separate dinners. I generally choose easy stuff for both dinners if I make two meals or else I'd go crazy. Anyway, with a food schedule/outline it helps me stick to the plan more easily and I get the groceries ahead of time which makes it much easier! I think I should definitely plan a weeks worth of groceries ahead of time no matter what. It makes it easier if I don't have to run to the grocery store after work for just a few things and it will probably also help me to make healthy choices and not just resort to the most convenient thing (which sometimes means driving through Taco Bell).

I've also been setting my alarm earlier to go on a walk before work. I only walk about a mile but I think the "structure" of starting the day the same each morning will help the other plans during the day fall into place. It'll hopefully put me in a more self-disciplined mindset. So far this week I walked Tues, Wed, and today. 3 out of 5 is okay with me. I'd like to do 4 - 5 though. I want to try to talk Ryan into taking a walk with me in the evening before it gets too rainy. My walks have been good so far. I used to listen to my ipod but I haven't updated it forever so I've just been walking, listening to my brain instead. Haha. It's good though because it gives me time to think before the day starts and it also gives me time to pray and reflect on Gods will. If I don't make time for things like that it doesn't happen. I don't know why I can make time for sleep, watching TV, cooking, etc, but not for God. Why does it seem harder than the other things? I don't know. But that is another - and the most important thing - that I need to have more self-discipline about.

So, besides exercise, food, and chores I would like to schedule in quiet time. I want at least once a week to set aside time before bed to read the bible and pray WITH Ryan. Soon I would also like to get up earlier and read the bible before I take my morning walk. I'm sick of just being a "Sunday Christian" with that being the only time that I read the bible. And if I just pray all the time but never pick up the bible (aka GOD'S WORD!), that's kind of a one-sided conversation, right?

Anyway, I neeeeeeeeed to set up more structure in my life and have more self-discipline when it comes to pretty much all aspects of my life. It's going to begin with being clear on what God wants for me, so I suppose I need to start there.

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Anyway, tonight I'm watching Jamesie from after work til around bed-time. He's sooo cute! Nae's going to an art reception tonight where she has some of her art pieces submitted. James is at preschool and then he'll ride his lil bus over to Playcare. I'm picking him up from Playcare after work and then he'll hang out with me and go night night at my house. Robin lent me Finding Nemo and Over the Hedge in case Jamesie wants to watch something. The only kid movie we have is Shrek and that's what we watched last time he came over. I can't wait to hang out with him! :) He's sooo cute these days and he says the funniest stuff.

Ryan is leaving for Reno tomorrow morning for a bowling tournament with his mom. They'll just be gone overnight. Hopefully I will get some stuff done while he's gone. I tend to do better at attacking the chores and cleaning the house when he's gone for some reason. At the same time, the time will probably go by pretty fast. I hope Ryan and Tammy have fun and do well in their tournament! They'll be squeezing in some gambling, too, I'm sure. :) I love my Ry-ry sooo much. He's always willing to listen to me and he's really sweet with me. He's also really funny and fun to spend time with. :) He's the best!