Art

I have this yearning for an artistic outlet. I kinda have a split personality (but not in the crazy freak sort of way). The job I have now is completely the furthest from "artistic" as you can get. I spend MOST of my day typing - mostly numbers, and some words. I look at a paper and translate it into a database. I enter the info from the paper into the database. Wow. Lame. It's weird because I work for a graphic design company and everyone around me has an "artistic" mindset. Even though my job is completely boring and far from that mindset, I still KNOW for a fact that I have an artistic person inside of me.

I wish that I could find the specific type of "art" that I'm supposed to do. In highschool I considered graphic design as a potential future occupation. I don't know now that I would like it very much. I do think I would be good at it because I have the "technical" mindset squared away and I also have an artistic yearning inside of me. I've always thought that being a pastry chef or even ANY kind of chef would be SO FUN. I would love to paint and wish that I had ANY skill involving painting or drawing. I really really really do NOT have any skill in that area. Making jewelry has been something I've really wanted to do for the past couple of years. I bought a bunch of beads and some books but I've only made a few pieces of jewelry. I think what it comes down to is that my logical side convinces my artistic side that it's not "good enough" to succeed. It's because making good art takes RISK and part of me won't let myself do that. (It also takes lots of MONEY sometimes!) I love to watch So You Think You Can Dance and I always loved going to my friend's dance recitals as a kid. I love going to Glazed Creations and painting pottery!!! I look at Etsy.com (my favie website - all handmade stuff for sale), and dream of making beautiful things like the things that are on there. I love shopping and looking at clothes. I feel like when I see a really nice print on a shirt or a well structured dress or a beautiful blouse it's like looking at a beautiful painting for me. (Now if it only looked as good as I'd like it to look ON me.) :) I have an artistic person STUCK inside of me and I have no idea how to let it out. I like it all - yet I only have a tiny big of skill. Somehow I need to figure out how to hone in on whatever skills I have and just as importantly, learn how to develop them. I need that outlet!

Sometimes I just want to take out a piece of paper and some paint and paint something. It ends up being the same rainbow with the clouds on either side or "happy tree" that I used to paint as a kid. Either that or I just streak a bunch of colors across the page. Sometimes the color ones turn out nice... but what am I going to do with it? I mean, seriously, we're talking like... a piece of computer paper and some WATERCOLORS.

Last time I busted out the paper & paint for some art "outlet" time, this is what came of it... a beautiful portrait of me and Ryan:

Ryan loved my painting so much that he hung it on our refrigerator

(using the strategically place magnets, as you can see).

He's a doll.

As you can see, I probably shouldn't pursue painting as a long-term career choice or even as a hobby. :)

Muahahaaa (evil laugh)

For those of you who have husbands who are addicted to sports, you will enjoy this. I suppose I'm mostly talking to Teryn.

Anyway, tonight my feet started to hurt pretty bad. Somewhere at the "top" (I learned that's actually the BEGINNING, not the END) of the 13 inning of today's Giants game, I decided to ask Ryan for a foot massage. Yes - I said 13th as in thirteenth inning. I know - you're thinking, "there are only supposed to be what, 9-ish, right??" WELLLL. This game has made it to at least the THIRTEENTH INNING!!! So, he says "will the Giants win if I give you a foot massage?" and I say "Only if you do a reallllyyy good job". Yes, ladies, I have found a way to get a GOOD foot massage with some passion behind it! Haha! He would get all worked up and excited about the pitch and say "c'mon! c'mon! You can dooo it!!" Meanwhile, he'd be crushing my foot in anticipation - hoping and dreaming that the harder he massages my feet the more it will push his players into hitting home runs. And THEN, if they suck and make a terrible hit, he would get all worked up and upset and he'd massage my foot out of ANGER. Hahaha! WIN-WIN! :)

I thought I'd share because it made me laugh. Maybe pointless to you but I thought it was pretty funny. And I'll definitely try to use it to my advantage in the future.

Oh - btw - we've just moved into the 14th inning. YAY FOR ME.

Watching Jamesie tonight :)

Tonight I watched James over at Nae's house and Lance was there, too. First, I must say that Lance is really growing up and maturing. He just kind of does his own thing. He's got his dinner routine down, he knows how to entertain himself, etc. I also don't know if I mentioned this already but I saw him change James' diaper a couple of months ago and he's a PRO! And he stepped right up to do it without complaints. Luckily, the one I saw wasn't too yucky of a diaper but he still did a really good job of cleaning up Jamesie. It was pretty sweet - despite the poo poo. I still get nervous changing diapers and I never know if I did it right. I suppose they stay on well enough to do their job, but I always wonder if they're too tight? Too lose? Lopsided? Either way they never seem right. I can at least now tell the front from the back. That was until I came across the Swim Diaper which apparently has no back or front - it just goes on either way. Thanks for confusing me right when I sorta get it down, Diapers!

Anyway, I also told my mom recently when she had a few days in a row of not feeling well, that she could let me know if she needed help with Lance. She said "he's so good". It's just nice to know that at least lately she's had some peace with him. It was hard growing up with him and I know it was hard on my mom and and the rest of us, too. There's not really a way to explain it until you've lived it. There are good and bad sides to having a family member with a disability. And I still don't think that my parents' days with Lance are "easy" but I'm just pretty proud to hear that he's matured a lot over the years. He's really sweet with the boys (James and Joey) and just likes to be helpful. It's funny - I was going to go online a few days ago, and I opened up internet explorer and it defaults to like a Yahoo homepage. It has news and different stuff on it. Well, there was a story about a girl on there - I think the headline was something like "Always hungry, all the time". I clicked on it and it was a little glimpse of this girl's life with Prader-Willi Syndrome and a little bit of a look into her daily life. That being, her parents locking the cabinets at home, her having to live in a group home most of the time to control her diet, and her gaining 25 pounds on her week long visit home. Yeah, yeah, stuff I've heard before, right? The news lady that was kind of interviewing her and her family said to the other news woman "I spent the day with a woman who is always - and this is no exaggeration, this is not a metaphor - ALWAYS HUNGRY." and later "some people say the have an 'insatiable appetite' but what if it was literally true??" She later talked about how there are some meds available that help things like obsessive compulsive habits such but - the words she used - "the hunger remains". It's just SO WEIRD because I've grown up with Lance all of my life. I've known that he is always hungry, never full. The "need" for food never goes away. But for some reason, somehow, I didn't REALIZE what that meant until I heard someone else's story and the words coming from someone else's mouth. It's so weird. I just kind of caught me off guard I guess. I mean, I think I grew up at times thinking "We have it so hard as siblings of a person with Prader-Willi Syndrome" or "oh, my mom and dad have it so hard having to care for Lance day in and day out". Those things are true - it's very hard sometimes and I know that is/was especially true for my mom. But I guess I've rarely thought about it from LANCE'S point of view. How hard it is for HIM to constantly have the struggle going on in his mind. He has the tendencies to want (or even NEED) to eat, eat, eat, must... find... food. But another side of him, I'm sure, wishes to be RID of that need. I think it's probably a constant battle for him. It's not something he can control - maybe he can control 10% of it, I don't know, I don't want to put a number on it. But it's not really something he can "teach" himself to stop doing/wanting/needing. I just wanted to say publicly that I'm proud of him. I never thought Lance would "grow up" but in a lot of ways he has.

ANYWAY! The post was supposed to be about my time with Jamesie tonight and turned into a Lance post. Oh well. :) So, tonight I got to watch Jamesie because Lynae and Seth were going to Lynae's 10 year highschool reunion tonight (eekkk!). Josiah went over to my Grandma's house so that I wouldn't have to have Lance, Joey, AND James. I suppose I could've handled it but I'm sure "great-grams" loved some Josiah time. :) When Nae first told me Joey would be with Grandma I kind of thought to myself "aww, dang." I love Jamesie with all of my heart, but I'll just say it - Josiah snuggles more these days - yes, kind of because he has to since he doesn't have the strength to pull away from me yet. But still, I get to hug him the WHOLE TIME! James used to be my little snuggle bug but now that he's getting older he likes to have his personal space. Ugh. :) Still, I was happy to watch James because I love him sooo much. It turned out to be WONDERFUL! I asked him what he wanted to do. "Watch ELMO in the moobie woom!" (movie room). "Okay!!!" James watched Elmo while I went on Facebook and checked my email and all of my various portals. He would get so excited if I sang along with a song on the movie or danced or clapped my hands. I LOVE how easily entertained he is and also how much he loves music. (BTW, I really think he has a good natural beat and probably some sort of musical gift in his future). The couch was folded out into a bed in the "movie room" (the guest bedroom) so that's what we were laying on while watching Elmo. James actual SNUGGLED with me and let me rub his hair and give him kisses. Lately he's been saying "NO AUNT LEE LEE!" when I try to snuggle him. But for some reason tonight he let me. And we just had such a blast together watching Elmo. I know that sounds really funny but it was quality time with JUST James that I hadn't had in a while. I had so much fun lovin' him and being his aunt Leelee. :)

A little while before I put him to bed I decided to see if he wanted some yogurt since he had barfed up some of his dinner. It sucks when that happens because I'm sure he gets hungry again like 30 mins later. So I fed him some yogurt - should've stopped there. I figured he was still hungry and asked him if he wanted some "okey sticks" (aka "turkey sticks" aka rolled up pieces of lunch meat). He did. He didn't throw up. Yayy! Since we had watched several Elmo movies, I thought maybe it'd be fun to give him a bath and let him splash around and play with his bath toys. I brought him into his room and put him on his bed to finish drying him off and to put his diaper and jammies on. For some reason he started gagging and barfing. Aaahhhh! I caught what I could with the towel but some of it got on his bed. Then he just kept going! I brought him off of his bed onto the floor. I caught some more of it in the towel but some got on his little ikea rug. Dang it! Several more hurls later the towel was full and his tummy was covered in vomit. :( Back into the bath!!! I screamed for Lance so that he could get his sippy cup which sometimes helps him stop vomiting. Lance wasn't responding and I was guessing that he was just ignoring me. Turns out he was on the potty. "LAAANNNCCEEE!" He comes in a couple of minutes later. "What?! I had to cut myself off!" HAHAHA! wow. TMI. He watched James in the tub while I cleaned up. I came back and I thought James was crying but it turns out he was cracking up and him and "Adu Ubby" (uncle Lance) were having a blast. So cute. :) I got James to bed after that and he fell asleep pretty quickly. But not until after he played with my ears and poked my face. Sounds weird, but it's something he's been doing forever. So cute. :)

I love my James and I had so much fun with him!!! Dealing with the mess was hard but he's worth it. Plus, Nae and Seth deal with it on a daily basis. I was glad that they had even just one less mess to deal with. It sounds like they had a fun time out without the kiddos!

Herxing

I think I'm HERXING! :)

"Herx" or "Herximer Reaction": occurs when large quantaties of toxins are released into the body as bacteria (typically spirochetal bacteria -- That's what LYME is!) die due to antibiotic treatment or rapid detoxification. Typically the death of these bacteria occurs faster than the body can remove the toxins via the kidneys and liver. It's manifested by fever, chills, headache, and myalgia (muscle pain).

My doctor basically explained that for me I would probably just have an intensification of my symptoms (which would definitely include muscle pain).

For the last few weeks I've had pain in my left shoulder blade that is more intense than my regular pain. I thought that maybe I tweaked it or slept on it funny (I didn't want to get my hopes up!) but now it's lasted for a few weeks. I started a 2nd antibiotic (amoxicillin) on Friday. On Saturday the pain kind of flared up again in my left shoulder. A few hours before we went to bed, the pain kind of migrated over to the right side of my back, just under my shoulder blade (sorta like the back of my rib area). I also got a pretty bad headache for all of the evening and night. Saturday was the same story - headache all evening and pain in the same spot on the right side. Then I had a few days of "normal" - meaning MY normal, not normal-normal, with the exception of slightly more pain than usual in my left shoulderblade. Last night after work my left knee and the area right above my knee was hurting. It would kind of go from a little bit sore to quite painful. By the time we went to bed my leg was hurting pretty bad but not like "CHOP IT OFF!". During the night my leg continued to hurt and pretty much radiated to my whole left leg - enough for it to wake me up several times during the night (I kind of wanted to chop it off at that point). But I am HAPPY because I believe now that I'm truly herxing which should mean that my meds are WORKING!!! YAYYY! I'm yet to have a "good" day so we'll see. I'm waiting for that day.

So, now that I'm taking like - a bazillion pills a day - I got one of those super-dorky old lady daily pill separators/holders with "am" and "pm" slots. AHHH! But mine is actually pretty cool! You can detach each day from the rest of the days and JUST take "Monday" with you or whichever day it is. That way I don't have to lug around a huge old lady pill box in my purse. Love it! :)

Anyway, I just thought I'd give an update on my health status since there has been a change, finally. This is the first change I've had in many, many years. Yayy! Pray that this is TRULY a herx reaction and that I will soon be better.

My husband is THE BEST!

I'm not sure if it was Ryan or not... It looked like him.. sounded like him... but didn't exactly ACT like him. ;-) wink wink.

Last week he had to go to a work meeting in at their Sacramento office. I figured he'd be tired and I'd have to figure out something for dinner since usually when he's tired he doesn't want to go anywhere. When I got home from work he had gotten home about 10 mins before me. He gave me a big hug which is normal, and then asked what I wanted for dinner. He said "What do you want for dinner?" I said, "I don't know, what do you want?" (normal so far... now the weird part...) "I don't know, but you pick what you want and I'll cook it tonight". WHAAAAATTT????? I wasn't sure what he wanted or what he felt confident cooking so we tried something easy - tacos. But he wanted chicken tacos instead of beef ones. Sounded good to me but we didn't have chicken. He said he'd go to the grocery store to get what we needed. He never really likes grocery shopping. He didn't even make me go WITH him! While he was at the store getting our dinner ingredients he spotted some pretty pink flowers and thought "heck, I think I'll get those for Lyndsey". When he came home with flowers after offering to cook dinner I almost died and started to question if it was really him. Or maybe he had accidentally burned my shoe collection or something and was trying to butter me up before he told me?! Haha. I always tell him that flowers are simple, cheap and make me realllyyyyy happy. So if he ever wants to "suprise" me he just has to buy like 5 dollar flowers and I'll be stoked! Somehow, he doesn't really ever think of it unless it's a special occassion... birthday, anniversary, valentines day, etc. This time, dinner, grocery shopping AND flowers for no reason! Who was this guy? I still don't know exactly what got into him that day! He said that his work day was easy because most of it was just sitting in the car and he thought he'd try to cook dinner for once since he wasn't tired. He spotted the flowers at the store and thought to himself "She's going to think I'm crazy but I'm going to get those, too". :) It made me soooo happy! I'm blessed to have such a sweetie pie for a husband. Thanks for a special, out of nowhere type of day Ryan!!!

Is that RYAN cooking?!?!?!?!

My prettiful flowers. :) :) :)

Tonight we're going on a "date" to see The Time Traveler's Wife. I can't wait!

Amoxicillin & Probenecid

I started two new meds today. Amoxicillin (the penicillin, finally) & Probenecid. I'm not quite sure exactly what probenecid is, but from what I've heard and read it basically just helps that amoxicillin work better and prolongs its effects. They had me sit in the hyperbaric office today for 45 mins when I took the meds for the first time. The guy who runs the hyperbaric chamber is also an EMT or something like that, so they wanted me to be there when he was there in case I did have any sort of allergic reaction to the meds such as respitory problems or anything like that. It all went well, and now it's been about 2 hours since I took it and I'm still feeling fine. No breathing issues, itchiness or rashes. YAYYYY!

When Ryan and I picked up the meds I kind of started laughing almost hysterically at the SIZE and dosage of the meds. WOW. I'm supposed to take two capsules of the amoxicillin three times a day (6 pills total) plus one capsule 3 times daily of the probenecid (3 more pills). INSANE! Plus, I took a picture of the bottle (right) compared to a NORMAL sized bottle (left) to show you why it made me laugh so hard. I think Ryan thought I was a little bit looney. But it's seriously like a flippin' flash light or something!

DANGGG!

Anyway, I'm hoping they work and make me all better. That would be sweet. :)

Testing, Appointments, Waiting Rooms... Left and Right!

So, I'll update you on my stuff first since I'm self-centered and the world revolves around me. Haha! Just kidding! Just to get it out of the way, I guess, since it's a bit boring but still exciting for ME. We finalllllyyyyy got my penicillin test done. Results were supposed to be back Monday, MAYBE Tuesday, but no one called me. So yesterday I called them to see what was up. She checked on it and called me back to tell me that the test came back NEGATIVE! So, I'm not allergic to penicillin which is great because now they can put me on a 2nd antibiotic. I believe that penicillins work slightly better than than the alternatives so hopefully it WILL work this time. She said that they'll clear it with the doc today and get it called into the pharmacy. So, I'm hoping I can start it on Friday buuuut... usually stuff takes forever so it might be next week. :( Oh well! It's been 10+ years so I think I can handle a few more days.

Anyway, there are health issues in my family left and right and it's pretty much NUTS. The last few conversations I've had with my family members are basically updates on my health, updates on their health, updates on this or that blood test, or "I have a _____ appointment next Tuesday and a ____ appointment in 2 weeks". Blah Blah BLAHHHH! I just have to keep remining myself OVER AND OVER:

2nd Corinthians 4:16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

As well as the verse that my Blog title is based on:

James 4:14b

What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

In other words, the WORST thing that's ever happened to us here on earth will eventually be a blip on the radar... a mist that vanishes after a few seconds. It's hard to think of it that way since some things are so meaningful and some things even CHANGE the course of our lives here on earth forever. It's not that we're meant to forget these things or categorize them as "meaningless". It just means that when we meet God face to face, the troubles of this earth will not compare to the blessings he has for us, ETERNALLY. No more tears, no more pain, no more losing loved ones, no more surgeries, no more brokeness.

The downside... we're left waiting. Here on the scum (earth). I know there are instructions in the bible for us while we wait, but sometimes I forget about those. My heart just wants to be done with it and on to the good stuff, ya know? But I guess that is the battle I'm faced with that will eventually make me stronger and NOT tear me down no matter how much it feels like it will.

Jamesie had some weird symptoms going on a couple of days ago. Really bad instant migraine-like headaches and his eyes looked strange. Lynae got worried and figured it was shunt failure. The best thing to do was to get it checked out IMMEDIATELY, because if it was shunt failure he'd have to get into surgery as soon as possible to avoid too much water on the brain (which could actually cause brain damage if it's not taken care of). After a couple of days at Sutter Memorial hospital in Sacramento, they're releasing James today. He started acting normal again for at least 24 hours, and his fever went away for good. He didn't experience any more "episodes" of the headaches and googily eyes. They did a couple of tests on him including a 3 hour MRI last night. Everything looks normal and since he's feeling better, too, they're going to release him today. I'm glad he's all better! Lynae will be watching him closely after they get home to make sure he really IS all better. They've gone in before convinced it was shunt failure, got turned away and sent home, and was back two days later for surgery for shunt failure. Sooo, needless to say, it was definitely the right choice to get him thoroughly checked out at Sutter. They're going to see the doctor next Tuesday sort of as a follow up to all of this stuff, as well as his last surgery he had earlier this year.

My mom has also been feeling pretty yucky for several weeks now. It mostly started with "dizzy spells" here and there, eventually becoming more frequent. In the last few weeks she's had an MRI and some other testing done. They're still not quite sure what's going on with her. We don't know if it's stress/anxiety related, hormone related, or something more serious (hopefully NOT!). I've been worried about her, mostly because she worries about everyone else and I think it makes her symptoms worse sometimes. Luckily a few days here and there in the last week she's been able to take a break and get some much needed rest. I just really, really hope she gets better soon and that she doesn't end up with a "mystery disease" like me that takes 10+ years to figure out! My parents also both have some sort of cold/throat thing going on. My dad has been really stuffed up and coughing and my mom has had a really red sore throat.

Anyway, it's been quite tiring keeping up with everyone's latest "health status" and sitting here worrying about everyone, and worrying about myself. I realize that it COULD be worse and we need to be thankful for the health that we DO still have. Just seeing some of the other Lyme patients that I did hyperbaric treatment with made me realize that there are other people suffering from Lyme that have been hit much harder with it than I have.

Anyway, that's enough about that for now. We're still waiting on word about our CHIP home application. We actually have no idea when we find out whether we've been selected or not, when they're planning on building the houses, or really ANY info regarding any of that. The one thing we know is that we'll get something in the mail telling us one way or the other if they've accepted our application. I can't wait to just KNOW! :) I hope we get it.

C.H.I.P. house & test...

A few weeks ago we got all of our paperwork together and sent in our application to hopefully recieve a chance to get a CHIP home. CHIP stands for Community Housing Improvement Program. Basically, they're building 6 homes this time in Chico. If we get the opportunity and get chosen for a house, we'll spend a certain number of hours a week (with help from friends/family, too! please!) helping to build the home. In turn, our "work" will go toward the down payment of the house, and the house will end up being much cheaper than a normal brand new house. I still have NO idea how much it will cost in the end, but I guess if we're approved then we'll find out all of the details. Hopefully if they're built before the year ends we might even qualify for the tax credit next year ($8000 bucks or something). We'll also probably end up applying for a first time buyers loan. We can probably get about 30,000 toward the home which would be payed back whenever we end up selling the house. That's pretty much how it works. Again, i don't know all of the details yet. It'd be pretty exciting to be chosen. Basically, a buunnnccchhh of people applied, and then they took out any applications that were incomplete/missing info. Ours was done correctly so we got put into the "lottery" style drawing along with all of the other people who had complete & correct applications. Then what they do is pull your application at random, and that is the order they review the applications. They then go through and toss people who don't qualify (I don't really know what makes you qualify and what doesn't), and move on through the line until they qualify 6 applicants. Our number is #20. The lady on the phone said that #20 isn't too bad. I've also heard that a TONNNN of people can be turned down so #20 isn't looking too bad. Still, ya never know! I really want to get it if it's going to be what's right for us. And I know it will happen if it's meant to be. It's going to definitely be in our prayers until we find out. I hope we find out SOON! :)

The other thing I'm waiting on is my penicillin allergy test. We FINALLY got it done. They ended up sending me to get a blood test instead of a skin test since I guess they don't perform those tests anymore at the allergists office in Chico. So I just went over to Quest to get more blood taken. The results were possibly going to be back today, but maybe not until tomorrow. If we find out I'm allergic to penicillin then they'll probably put me on an additional non-penicillin antibiotic for my possible Lyme. If I'm not allergic, they'll put me on a penicillin since I believe it works the best. I'm anxious to hear back about that so we can get started on more treatment. I REALLY want this to work. Looking toward the future with a house and good health seems realllyyyy nice. But I have no idea what is in store for us. I know that whatever happens is going to be okay whether I choose to believe that at first or not. The easy way would sure be a blessing though. :)

We're watching Lost over starting with Season 1. I love it! We actually just finished Season 1 yesterday so we'll be moving onto Season 2 sometime this week. It's addicting! But there are a lot of things I've forgotten so it's nice to watch it over again. It's making me not able to WAIT for season 6! But it's also a good time-filler (Lost "fix") until season 6 starts next YEAR. I'm mucho looking foward to it. I hope it's not a let down. The show has been SO good that you never know if they can make the ending match the rest of the show. But I think it has potential to be awesome.

I went to Upper Crust today to get a delish chicken ceaser salad that I got last week. They said it was just a "special" and they don't have it any more. :( It was sooo good! Dang it! I got a delicious sandwich instead, but STILL! :)

I need to not eat out every single day for lunch, so I'm thinking of just buying some turkey, wheat bread, and some other sandwich fixings and bringing them to work so that I can have sandwiches most days. And then if i get sick of it i'll let myself go get mexican food or salad or something else. I'm also going to try to stock up on some smart ones since some of them aren't too bad and it's a more controlled way to eat. We'll see what happens. I keep putting off losing weight until I feel better but I really shouldn't do that. I might not get better (and I'm STILL coming to terms with that). So I shouldn't put it off. I should do what I can do while I'm sick (which might not be WAY significant, but it's SOMETHING), and hopefully if I get better I can kick it into high gear. :) I need to concentrate on diet now with some exercise, and then diet AND exercise if/when I get better. I just need to be more diciplined all together.

Ugh, anyway. I best be going now. :) OH! But first, I must say, Carrisa's party was pretty fun even though I did totally BAD at Settlers this time. :( Ryan and Tammy each won. 'Twas a Bryson Bonanza. Anyway, I got to hold Nory a whole bunch and then Nae & Seth came with the boys so I got to hold Joey, too. He's my little guyyyyy! We got to play with James, too. He was in a pretty good mood until he found out they were leaving later in the evening. He's been going through a phase right now where he doesn't want hugs or kisses from me (or anyone I'm told). But I still tricked him into a few kisses. I hate that he's growing up! Dustin and Seth had fun messing with him, and he had fun too. :) "ah-din! ah-din!" (again! again!)

I forgot...

I forgot to mention that I'm not doing hyperbaric anymore for now. I met with Mitch last Friday after my last session of Hyperbaric. He decided to take me off of it for a while. I guess it's common for people to get better in the following weeks after they quit hyperbaric. (Like a month later or so). We're also TRYING to get me on another antibiotic but we're STILL having trouble getting me set up with the allergist for some reason! (The need to see if I'm allergic to penicillin before they put me on high doses of it). I really wish I could've been on both antibiotics at the same time AND hyperbaric treatment. But whatever. It'll work out. (I HOPE!) So, that's the latest news on my health so far... no more hyperbaric for now, hopefully on 2 antibiotics soon, waiting it out. (So far no changes, but praying for big changes soon).

Chillin' out maxin', relaxin' all cool...

I'm just hanginging out, fartin' around on the internet while Ryan plays a video game. For once he's not hogging the computer playing his precious new game or checking his Mafia Wars. :)

This week has been pretty slow. Yesterday (Monday) felt like Friday. Ryan had a baseball game & stuff, and it just made it feel like the weekend. Today feels more like a Thursday or somewhere near the end of the week. Sadly, we still have 3 more (long) work days until the weekend. BLEH! Today went by semi-fast, but I think that's because I had a meeting at work and I had to prep for it, too. I had a job ticket training meeting with two new employees. It was a bit different than my normal meetings (I won't go into WHY because you'd fall asleep), so it took a bit longer and was a little stressful. Mostly I just HATE any form of public speaking. Especially to strangers. I had to meet with them over the TV conference since they work at the Mountain View office. The TV froze up and wouldn't re-connect so we had to meet over the phone for the 2nd half of the meeting. The server also went down for a minute which caused two of my programs to close - programs I was using for the training. It sucked! Despite all of that, it still went better than my last meeting. I had major brain fog for some reason and I kept forgetting words and losing my train of thought. It SUCKED!

Anyway, boring work stuff. Blah blah blah. I'm lucky though, to have a fairly easy job, a pretty flexible schedule, a couple of friends at work, and a low-stress job. I like my job. There will always be stuff I'll want to change about my job no matter what it is, but over all I'm pretty happy.

Tonight we had "Brinner" (breakfast for dinner). I made pancakes. We didn't want to go ANYWHERE, including the grocery store. We had some left over lasagna but pancakes sounded good. The rest of the evening was spent doing lots of laundry and watching Big Brother with Ryan. I love my Rynie sooo much. He's the best husband ever. He gets me. We just fit well together. He loves me a lot and does a good job of showing me that he loves me. I love him too, lots and lots.

I've been in a weird mood the last few days. I get quite pessimistic from time to time. Ryan is the opposite - an Optimist. (grossimist. tee hee). I told him that I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. He's not buying it. It's nice though to always have his point of view, that being an "up" side to every "down" side I come up with. Sometimes it's just plain annoying though. :) I've just been worried about everyone. I'm not getting better so far even though I'm being "treated". I'm worried about my mom's health (she's had a few dizzy spells and is just feeling kind of yucky all-together). I'm worried about Jamesie and his doctor appointments this week. Worried about Nae and her enduring this week with James AND the baby. And then on top of the bigger things I worry about smaller things like "is Ryan happy at work?" and "I hope Carla had a good bday even though it didn't work out for all of her friends to be there" or "I hope Carrisa and Norah travel home safely"... things like that. Ryan asked me why everything was so bad and I said "we live on EARTH, therefore, pretty much everything sucks". He said, "EARTH is not in control of us. God is." I guess I should listen to him sometimes. He's kinda smart.

Even though this week has been slow, and I've been kind of in a LAME mood (as far as my pessimistic-ness coming through), there are a few things to look foward to. Well, first off, the week will be half way over tomorrow, right? Also, tomorrow I think we're having dinner with my parents. It's something we've been meaning to do for a while and I think it's finally happening. :) This weekend we're celebrating Carrisa's birthday. I finally get to see her and Nory. I miss them both - they've been gone for about 10 days but they're home now. Also, besides Carrisa's bday celebration there's not much going on this weekend so we'll hopefully have some down time.

I should go now and get ready for beddy.